Love for Sale: Selling Romance to the Upwardly Mobile Urbanite

Single men and women in large urban cities are finding it harder and harder to find a partner. About 40 percent of U.S. adults are unmarried – up from 28 percent in 1970 – which means big business for dating services. In North America alone it is estimated there are over 1,500 dating sites. In 2012 they had a projected profit total of $2.1 billion — and that’s in the U.S. alone.

Online dating services began booming in popularity in 2001, with match.com and eharmony being the most recognized . While online dating has become increasingly accepted as an option for meeting a potential partner, it still has the whiff of desperation.

But where once it one was stigmatized for admitting that he or she found a partner online, it has become increasingly normalized, especially for those too busy to meet in more conventional settings. There are highly exclusive online dating sites for high net worth individuals who only want partner’s worth well over a billion dollars.

Of course sex continues to be the top-line message. Sites like True.com are less about long-term romance and feature provocative pop-up ads on various internet sites that ask men to “Stop. Stare. Flirt,” while a video box shows a scantily clad woman who waves, winks and giggles.

However many men in particular are hesitant to sign up for a dating service. As one executive with one such service observes, “a lot of men don’t like to go that deep, especially when it’s with a stranger.”3 Men now make up about 60 percent of visitors to online personals, where they can maintain a certain level of anonymity. In response to an article about dating services in the Wall Street Journal, one reader wrote,  “Plain and simple…men hate the thought of resorting to a dating service. Once the guy gets over that hurdle and decides to try a service, the challenge becomes a money issue….” Another plaintively said, “Most low-to-mid-salary women want rich men. I’m not rich… I’m 35 years old; make about $52,000 a year and am good looking. But I haven’t had a date in a year. It’s not that easy for guys to meet girls either.”

So perhaps it’s no wonder then that with the novelty of online dating having worn thin, real-life social clubs and businesses built around common interests and hobbies have shown steady growth in the past five years alone, as young professionals seek out new ways to meet potential partners beyond a website or bar.

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